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The truth of who you really are is the firmest ground to stand on.

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Love is Not a Service Contract

Posted by Julianne Harvey on August 25, 2014 at 8:25 PM Comments comments (0)

In a conversation with a friend right before I left for a 2 week vacation, she said, "You know that you don't owe people anything, right?"


This observation caught me by surprise. It left me feeling defenseless, vulnerable, even stupid, like everyone in the world knew something obvious that I was clueless about.


Generally speaking, we tend to have a str...

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Moving with the Current

Posted by Julianne Harvey on August 19, 2014 at 10:30 AM Comments comments (0)

All choices carry consequences. We decide on something and then we must bear what is associated with that choice. Sometimes it's a loss (money, time, relationships, self-esteem) and other times we end up with a gain (success, reward, confidence, joy).


Pain is at one end of the consequence continuum and elation is at the other. But we get a little of everything in between as we make our choices in life. And ...

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Locked Rooms

Posted by Julianne Harvey on August 14, 2014 at 4:00 PM Comments comments (0)

Every one of us has hidden rooms, deep in our psyche; places we don't show to anyone and that includes ourselves. In counseling, I visualize this concept as a long hallway with a series of locked doors. When the time is right, I find the key to open one door. I summon my dormant courage, fighting the fear and dread rising in my throat, and push open the door.


Each of those private rooms has been sealed off ...

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Supporting Kids Through Pain

Posted by Julianne Harvey on August 5, 2014 at 10:30 AM Comments comments (0)

How do you know when to intervene on behalf of your kids and when to let them face stress on their own? At the heart of this struggle is my desire to fix, to rescue, to save - when that is not a healthy instinct for me or for those I'm trying to liberate.


In theory, supporting kids through emotional pain is better than cutting off the source of the hurt. But why is it so tough on the parent? My old wounds m...

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Still There, Still There...Gone

Posted by Julianne Harvey on July 29, 2014 at 11:30 AM Comments comments (0)

My pastor is fond of the phrase, "The now and the not yet" to describe the tension we all live with between the present and the future. I would add in "the gone" to also incorporate the past.


I believe in synchronicity. Stuff shows up exactly when we are ready for it. Some call this 'life lessons'; I refer to it as 'getting knocked on my ass'.


We tend ...

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Doubly Good to You

Posted by Julianne Harvey on July 22, 2014 at 10:30 AM Comments comments (0)

Amy Grant has an old song called "Doubly Good to You" with this lyric, "If you find a love that's tender, if you find someone who's true, thank the Lord, he's been doubly good to you."


This line rings true for me as we approach our wedding anniversary. I think back more than a decade and a half ago, when we were young, hopeful and madly in love - embarking on the perils of life together as a married couple....

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When I Loved Myself Enough

Posted by Julianne Harvey on July 15, 2014 at 10:30 AM Comments comments (0)

"When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn't healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits - anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving."


This quote by Kim McMillen brought enormous comfort to me when I read it on Project Happiness' Facebook page. It calmed something in my spirit that has been distressed for some time. It was like ...

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Leisure

Posted by Julianne Harvey on July 8, 2014 at 10:30 AM Comments comments (0)

Getting away from the notion that I must work hard in order to earn leisure is a lifelong job for me. Perhaps it is enough to simply put more distance between myself an this faulty idea, every single day I am alive.


We are at the beginning of the summer, and last year was the first time I really experimented with the concept of resting. Before that, every season blended together. I was perpetually behind t...

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Not My Circus

Posted by Julianne Harvey on June 30, 2014 at 10:30 AM Comments comments (0)

I love the Polish proverb, "Not my circus. Not my monkeys." It's a playful way of saying, "This is not my problem."


The expectations of other people tend to be my circus. I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about things that should be none of my damn business. I am better at this than I used to be, but it's depressing how far I still have to go to be considered healthy at it.


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Transition

Posted by Julianne Harvey on June 24, 2014 at 11:30 AM Comments comments (0)

Transitions are hard. When you allow yourself to feel the pain of letting go of one season in order to move into another, you sense way down in your gut just how much it costs you.


Nothing in life stays the same for long. We evolve, change, grow. We move from youth to old age. Many times I wish I could halt or intervene the process of aging--of transitioning from young and vibrant to middle-aged and eventua...

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