Julianne Harvey

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Dignity

Posted by Julianne Harvey on May 2, 2013 at 7:30 AM

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The greatest thing we can offer another person is to maintain their dignity in all of our interactions.  This is especially true with children, because they depend on us for their survival, and when we damage their dignity we are permanently scarring them in their development.

We all get frustrated and lose it from time to time.  That's a given.  But in Wal...

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Waking Up

Posted by Julianne Harvey on April 30, 2013 at 7:30 AM

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Spring is the ideal time to wake up from a winter slumber.  The very ground is changing around us.  Day by day, it moves from brown to green; from dead to vibrant and alive. Birds sing with joy in their hearts and flowers push up from the cracked dirt to bloom with tenacity and colour.

Our spirits follow a similar process.  Our lives are made up of s...

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Perfectionism Illness

Posted by Julianne Harvey on April 23, 2013 at 7:30 AM

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I no longer expect perfection from myself or from others.  It's an unrealistic goal, and always has been, only I couldn't see that before.  It developed like an illness does, slow at first and unnoticeable, before blowing up into a full-fledged and crippling problem.

It helps to understand my background as a child in an alcoholic home when I consider how I developed the idea t...

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Strong

Posted by Julianne Harvey on April 16, 2013 at 7:30 AM

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I feel strong.  This is the first time in my life I have ever felt this way.  For years, I pretended to be strong, but I could not back it up with actual strength.  I had a lot of bluster and sleight-of-hand movements to distract from the emptiness and gripping fear I felt inside.

For almost 3 years, I have been dismantling the disguises I wore since childhood.  One ...

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Letting Go of Illusions

Posted by Julianne Harvey on April 8, 2013 at 7:30 AM

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I am coming to understand that things happen to us, and we ascribe meaning to the event.  What happens to us is far less important than the meaning we give to it.

I think of the meaning we assign as an illusion.  We build one illusion after another, and then live inside of them.  The more illusions we have, the less connected we are to reality.

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Belonging Puzzle Piece

Posted by Julianne Harvey on April 4, 2013 at 7:30 AM

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When I went to Mexico in November 2011 with Jason, the kids and Jason's parents, I was at the beginning of figuring out where it was that I belonged.  I would sit on our balcony, staring out at the waves crashing against the sand, framed by palm trees lightly swaying in the warm breeze, and the cry of my heart emerged silently as, "Who am I and where do I belong in this world?"

I h...

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Healing the Cracks

Posted by Julianne Harvey on March 22, 2013 at 7:30 AM

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So much is going on inside of me right now.  Something has been demolished, and the dust is rising up so thick that it gets in my throat and impairs my vision.  I sense, in a way which runs very deep, that this internal work is incredibly important and that I must step back and wait for the process to complete itself.

Stepping back is not my strong suit.  I must sit on my...

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Facebook Detox Part 2

Posted by Julianne Harvey on March 11, 2013 at 7:30 AM

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It's been 4 weeks since I began a Facebook detox, and I am really starting to see the changes in myself. My compulsive need to share every thought I have has lessened, and the itch under my skin to know what other people are doing or saying has also eased off.

It's not gone entirely, as evidenced by the fact that my profile remains.  Facebook is a genius way to stay in touch with f...

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Vulnerability

Posted by Julianne Harvey on March 8, 2013 at 7:30 AM

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When you feel like all of your nerve endings are exposed and it hurts like air on a drilled tooth, vulnerability seems awful.  This is why we become alcoholics, workaholics, people pleasers, helicopter parents or stuff our faces with a tub of ice cream.  We are looking for a way to blunt the pain or at least divert it.

And yet it's always there, lurking j...

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Owning Childhood

Posted by Julianne Harvey on March 5, 2013 at 7:30 AM

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Why is it so hard to go back in your mind and emotions to your childhood?  In my recovery, I get close to certain memories and then I skitter away like a kitten who hears a loud noise, with my heart pounding in terror and my self-preservation instincts screaming, "Stay away!"  And yet I feel weary of circling these places and not being brave enough to enter them.

I called my c...

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