Julianne Harvey

I thought I'd start us off! My journey to my authentic self began in January 2010 when I decided to try blogging every day for 6 weeks. Knowing I was writing each day, and sharing it with the world, I began to look more honestly at who I was. This was a long and gradual process of awakening, with many terrifying moments but also deeply satisfying as I felt more honest than I'd ever had the courage to be before.

In August 2010 I took my 4 year old son to a counselor because he was about to start preschool and was terrified to be apart from me. I thought something was wrong with him and I wanted to fix him. I learned in that one hour appointment, that I had been pushing him away from the day he was born, because of deep fears which I had never admitted to myself or anyone, and that was the beginning of a lot of intense personal change for me.

I had to overhaul my relationship with my son, which involved looking at why I behaved the way I did, and making a lot of unconscious feelings and fears conscious enough to manage. This was excruciatingly hard, and set me on a trajectory of real honesty and integrity which changed me from the inside out and then transformed all of my relationships.

I am only beginning to be authentically myself in all circumstances without fearing the opinion of others, but it's like living in full colour instead of hiding in black and white. It's freedom instead of slavery, and joy instead of worry. I wrote Authentic=Happy: A Guide to Dismantling Your Disguise to help others move from people-pleasing into the light of who they really are, because I've come to believe that the best way to transform the world is to live boldly as ourselves at all times.

I'd love to hear from others who are in the process of moving from living as others expect them to into their authentic selves!

Julianne Harvey at February 13, 2012 at 1:20 PM

I thought I'd start us off! My journey to my authentic self began in January 2010 when I decided to try blogging every day for 6 weeks. Knowing I was writing each day, and sharing it with the world, I began to look more honestly at who I was. This was a long and gradual process of awakening, with many terrifying moments but also deeply satisfying as I felt more honest than I'd ever had the courage to be before.

 

In August 2010 I took my 4 year old son to a counselor because he was about to start preschool and was terrified to be apart from me. I thought something was wrong with him and I wanted to fix him. I learned in that one hour appointment, that I had been pushing him away from the day he was born, because of deep fears which I had never admitted to myself or anyone, and that was the beginning of a lot of intense personal change for me.

 

I had to overhaul my relationship with my son, which involved looking at why I behaved the way I did, and making a lot of unconscious feelings and fears conscious enough to manage. This was excruciatingly hard, and set me on a trajectory of real honesty and integrity which changed me from the inside out and then transformed all of my relationships.

 

I am only beginning to be authentically myself in all circumstances without fearing the opinion of others, but it's like living in full colour instead of hiding in black and white. It's freedom instead of slavery, and joy instead of worry. I wrote Authentic=Happy: A Guide to Dismantling Your Disguise to help others move from people-pleasing into the light of who they really are, because I've come to believe that the best way to transform the world is to live boldly as ourselves at all times.

 

I'd love to hear from others who are in the process of moving from living as others expect them to into their authentic selves!

Dear Julianne,

First off, congratulation for your journey to authenticity and best wishes for the many years yet to come. To see, hear, understand and do that which we must do can indeed be very excruciating. Yet for those willing to make the change(s) necessary, the rewards are endless.

Having been a member of the Armed Forces for twenty years, I have learned to do just that which others have expected of me. There is certainly room for some self expression, but the regime, the mentality and the expectations are there. Just before my retirement in 1996, I began taking construction courses as a mean to introduce myself to the civilian world. While I was taking my Registered Housing Professional course, I felt a little uneasy and somewhat out of place. Regardless, I kept on and graduated.

I worked in the construction field until the economy dictated my need to make yet an other change. I went back in the aviation industry. However, this time around it was all civilian. This was a major awakening and enabled me to realize that I had to brake out of the old military mold and adapt myself to a civilian life and structure.

Somewhere around 2004 I left Vancouver Island and began a new journey in my new home town of Crossfield, Alberta. After selling our house in Vancouver Island a year after my initial departure, my wife, my daughter and her kids followed and joined me. They too had to adapt and beging, once again, a new life. I have since been steadily employed in the aviation industry and enjoyed my new homwtown.

The journey to authenticity is a consistantly revolving circle that is continually affected by the physical and spiritual environment we live in. There will always be a strong negative outside influence to change the direction of our journey to authenticity. This can only be counteracted by the inner strength we develop as we progress in our journey and by those who are supportive of our journey such as in groups. One of Newton's law of Physic is "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction" It will alway be an individual choice to make, as to which direction we want to go.

As for myself, the journey continues. An ever changing environment demands for me to remain strong and have a keen sense of self awareness. Yet, I still have to see, to listen and to accept in order to make that journey as successful as I can make it.

I encourage all of you to read Julianne's book "AUTHENTIC=HAPPY" and to practice some of the steps Julianne so skillfully wrote down. The journey and it's success will always be our very own.

My very best.

Luc

Luc - thank you so much for reading Authentic=Happy and for taking the time to comment on the authenticity forum!  I apologize profusely that it took me so long to see your post and respond.

I agree with you wholeheartedly that the journey and its success will always be our very own.  This is one of the reasons why I did not inject much of my personal story into the book.  I wanted to keep it a guidebook where readers would be able to find themselves and approach the material with their own lives in mind.  There is no one true path to authenticity.  There are many ways and roads, each as individual as every person alive, and I don't want people to feel that my path is the "right" path.

Thank you for sharing some of your story.  I can only imagine how much pressure there might be in the armed forces environment to not stand out as an individual, but instead to be part of the group.  I understand why it is set up that way, but I applaud your courage in finding your own way in your civilian life.  We tend to find out who we are through trial and error, and in the hardest times of our lives is when we grow the most.

I love that the journey continues for all of us, as you so eloquently phrase it.  Thank you for reading, sharing and participating in the Authenticity Challenge.  It's wonderful and I hope to hear more from other readers in the future!

You are very wecome Julianne,

I love your writing and the many subjects you wrote about. It is very nice to be able to interact in this way with the author and to read comments others wrote.

I am sure many will benefit from your work. While some might say so and write it down, there are some that will always remain quiet about their own experience(s). What is important is for those quiet lives to grow and experience freedom. Therefore, stay the course as your work is an asset to an audience that is sure to grow.

My very best,

Luc

Thanks so much for your encouraging and kind words, Luc.  Building a career as an author in this era of publishing is an interesting challenge.  It's never been easier to self-publish, but the downside is that the market is cluttered with material and the internet floods us all daily so the sheer amount of options becomes overwhelming.

I appreciate your words to stay the course.  I'm taking them to heart today and I am deeply thankful for my readers.  Thanks again for taking the time to comment and interact on the forum!