stillness Archives - Julianne Harvey

In Culture, Identity, Nurture, Personal Growth

You Are Enough

Julianne HarveyApril 26, 2017

I’m in need of some personal encouragement, so I thought I’d remind myself of a few basic truths in this space and hope it helps some of you out at the same time. I’m going to write in the second person because it increases the likelihood that I will actually listen, for I can trick myself into thinking someone else is soothing me. Give it a try. It works wonders.

Here we go:

You are enough. It’s not necessary to prove your worth to anyone, for any reason. No more striving, hustling, defending. Instead, practice the art of stillness, of simply sitting in the beautiful mess that makes up your existence.

You are not behind. I know it feels like you are. Our culture continually reminds us that we are not as accomplished, thin, attractive, rich, intelligent or popular as we long to be. But you are right on time. You have important lessons to be learned in the exact place where you find yourself. Slow down and try to notice more. Something is happening in your life and it matters.

You are important. Your value does not go up if you are successful or plummet if you fail. You are worthwhile, all the time, at every single moment, because you have been given the momentous gift of life and breath and possibility. Don’t allow yourself to live as if you are small and worthless. This mistaken belief degrades all of the talents, joy, generosity and purpose you possess. Other people love you. Be sure to love yourself.

You are unique. Comparing to others is a dead-end road for happiness. Refuse to do it. Get off social media. Write something instead, or paint, garden, walk, bake, swim, play music, jump on a trampoline. Go outside. Watch a sunset. Breathe slowly and intentionally. Remember the simple pleasures of this life and return to a time when you were blissfully unaware of what other people were doing because the damn internet hadn’t been invented yet.

You are enough. Remind yourself of this honest truth, every single day. You matter, you are valuable, you are not falling behind, and you are a one-of-a-kind model. Don’t forget that the cracks are how the light gets in. You are not broken. You are enough and you are loved.

In Culture, Nurture, Parenting, Personal Growth, Relationships

Going Deeper

Julianne HarveyNovember 16, 2016Leave a comment

I sat down to write my blog yesterday and for the first time in six years I had literally nothing to say. I started and erased four different entries before giving up.

The U.S. election has put me in a funk. I’m fighting my way out of a cloud of uncertainty, fear and barely suppressed rage. It’s awful to watch something unfolding and have no compass for understanding why it’s occurring. I hate the direction the culture of the world is heading in. It feels like stepping back in time and losing all societal forward progress toward acceptance, freedom and kindness.

Today I feel marginally stronger and able to marshall my flying thoughts in one direction. I long to go deeper. The answers are not found on Facebook, Twitter or by watching so-called “experts” on the news. This is the way of madness; futility and bleak predicted outcomes that have no basis in reality.

What helps is sitting still and breathing. Praying. Being generous to ourselves so we can give to others without burning out. Remaining calm when the world is burning is an act of radical courage. Peace provides a balm that soothes frayed nerves and overworked minds.

It takes a lot of willpower for me to stop forecasting disaster scenarios and listening to other people’s doom and gloom doesn’t help me break this cycle. The world has not ended. The sun continues to rise and set and our loved ones are still all around us. Our kids need us to show them the way through. Bravery is the currency we need right now.

Answers are found in stillness, not in social media. I’m weary of my own opinions and everyone else’s. When nothing is clear, go deeper inward, to the place where peace is buried. It’s there, under the noise and the strain and the worry. It’s in each of us, a lit candle in the fiercest, blackest storm, and I’m determined to find it and shelter its flame.

We need each other, now more than ever. It’s helpful to reassure and encourage when so much of the Internet is aflame with anger and insults. We are all just trying to find our way. We want the best for our children. We do what we think is best so gentleness is paramount, even when we cannot grasp why this series of events has unfolded and we have strong feelings about it.

I’m so glad Christmas is coming. This year, more than ever, I’m desperate for hope, love and a promise of peace. If I want stability in the world I must first create it in myself. And so must you. Let’s link hands in the darkness and whisper, “We are okay. I’m here with you.” This will help. So will going deep to find that place of stillness and comfort. It’s always darkest right before the sun rises and we get another day to do some good for ourselves and for others.

In Culture, Identity, Movies/TV, Personal Growth

That Rey Moment

Julianne HarveyApril 12, 2016June 13, 2016Leave a comment

We bought Star Wars: The Force Awakens and watched it again as a family this weekend. It lost none of the magic from when we first saw it in IMAX on opening day in December, but this time, one particular moment deepened in meaning for me.

When Rey faces Kylo Ren in the forest and her fingers close around Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber, she crosses over in that instant to her new identity – the person she was born to be but lacked the courage to become before this defining moment. I recognized a profound identification as I watched this dramatic scene unfold, for every one of us has either had that Rey moment ourselves or will at some point.

We all know, deep down, who we really are. But then we must access the strength to step into it, to cross over, to accept that invitation we receive to live as our truest selves. For Rey, in that second she grips the handle of the lightsaber, it’s written all over her face. This will change everything and she knows it.

These key moments are exhilarating and terrifying, at exactly the same time. It’s thrilling to stop running from our calling at last, but embracing our real identity means walking away from the old one. This involves loss and pain. It’s a bridge we cross, from one inner destination to another, and we can never return in the same way.

The Hero’s Journey requires forward motion. If we stay stuck in the same place, we are not on a journey. We are in a loop. When we finally embrace our own Rey moment, we step from the old, familiar pattern and move on to who we are meant to be.

Now we are moving forward with new things to learn and experience. It’s like Dorothy opening the door to Oz and experiencing every single thing in bright, vivid colour, leaving the black-and-white version of herself behind. There are fresh adventures ahead, provided we are brave enough to go for them. It helps to form a new tribe of other like-minded travellers, who are on their own Hero’s Journey, and can provide support and encouragement in the loneliest spots.

Another helpful practice is stillness. Rey summons the power of quiet later in her fight with Kylo Ren, closing her eyes and taking the time to focus her energy and her mind. This is a requirement for those of us fighting our way through this life in the boldness of our true identities.

Don’t give up. Keep on going. Know that we are all making our way together. We have grasped our unique lightsabers and found out who we really are. Now we must continue to walk this path, even when it’s impossibly hard. Especially then, for we will find what we are looking for if we don’t give up.

The joy and the inspiration is found in the power of who we are meant to be. If you haven’t had that Rey moment of identification, start watching for it. And if you have, keep walking your Hero’s Journey. You are not alone. There are many of us, finding our true legacies and callings, believing that our power and our future lies along this path of who we are and were always meant to be.