thin Archives - Julianne Harvey

I’m working on accepting my body, exactly as it is. We live in a world where it’s all too easy to pine for a thinner frame where clothes hang a certain way and where we feel like we are winning at the game of healthy eating and exercise.

One way I’m pushing myself toward body acceptance is through the background work I’m doing as an actor in film and TV. I recently took Ava in for new headshots for her acting and I booked myself in at the same time. Choosing her new photos was fun and easy for me. Choosing mine were more challenging.

These were some of the thoughts that came up as I scrolled through my images: Do I really have that many wrinkles around my eyes? Why does my face look so puffy? I thought my skin looked smoother than that! And my arms…what the hell is going on there? They look so bulky.

And in the few full-length shots with Ava and I together in case we get called on for mother-daughter work? Forget it. She was lovely, vibrant, healthy. I looked, um, rounder around the middle than I’d prefer to imagine I look.

I’m determined to love myself through these pictures (and updated measurements for wardrobe on the last feature film I was on). I’m not 14 like Ava is. I’m 44 and I’ve birthed two rather large children. I am worthy of love and care when I’m thinner and when I’m pleasantly plump.

Sure, these experiences could motivate me to up my game in the exercise and eating game. I am making small changes that I hope will be sustainable. I lost 30 pounds five years ago and kept it off until last fall, when the stress of my appendix rupture followed by a provincial move seemed to jettison my good habits and get my weight back to where I started. But I love the idea of being gentler and kinder to myself this time around.

Body image is a thorny issue in our world today. We seem to have polarizing views on the subject with obesity on the rise in our culture. I think the key is to cultivate love and generosity towards ourselves and others. The goal is to feel beautiful and sexy in our own skin, no matter how the number fluctuates on the scale.

It’s hard. I know it is. I’m being deliberate about working in the body-conscious film world and pushing myself to accept what I look like in photos and onscreen. I’m doing my best not to compare my arms or thighs or belly to anyone else’s. We are all different and aren’t meant to be carbon copies of each other. I have no interest in starving myself to be a size 0. But if I’m a size 14 or 16 instead of a 12, I don’t want to beat myself up over it or feel less-than in some way.

How do you manage to accept and love your body exactly as it is? I’d love to hear from you and keep the dialogue going.

It’s time to change the way we think about women and weight in this culture. The entire fashion industry is built on the idea that being extremely thin is the gold standard. Our society literally encourages girls and women to starve in order to be considered attractive. Anything else is disappointing at best but more often disgusting and offensive.

I say NO MORE OF THIS MADNESS. All change starts with individuals, so I am no longer interested in allowing someone else to tell me what beauty looks like. I know for sure it’s not starving yourself so you can wear size 0 jeans.

What’s wrong with a nice, round tummy and thighs that jiggle a bit when you walk? This obsessive pursuit of a demanding beauty takes way too much of our collective mental energy and time, not to mention inciting a raging case of “not-good-enough-ism” in many women who are healthy and gorgeous at a size 12, 14 or 16 but feel gigantic and hideous because of the messaging in our unbalanced society.

I’ve been checking old movies out of the library on DVD to watch as a family, believing that classic cinema with its focus on character development and stellar writing can act as a balm for our cell-phone addicted, dumbed-down current media environment. Last week we watched Citizen Kane (okay, the first half of it before my attention wandered…not completely sure why this is AFI’s top movie of all time) and I was struck by the healthy appearance of the women dancing in one scene.

In 1941, apparently it was desirable and reasonable to have thighs bigger than delicate tree branches, gently flabby upper arms and soft bellies. It’s the polar opposite of what we see now on screen so it jumped out at me.

I’m determined to stop wishing for a flat stomach and perfectly toned arms and legs. It’s simply not worth it to me to put in that kind of time. But it’s not enough to make this decision – I also have to actively reassure myself that how my body looks is okay, DAMMIT. It’s more than okay. I’m strong and healthy and beautiful and thirty pounds over my doctor’s weight and I’m completely over feeling like shit about it.

A lot of this relates to the undercurrent of sexism still very present in our modern world. Most fashion magazines are not aimed at men. The expectation that women have to be beautiful, thin, expertly made-up at all times with their hair bouncy and freshly coloured at a salon is real and pervasive. And you better have a strong sense of self-esteem to go out of the house in anything other than a carefully-designed outfit because in sweat pants you run the risk of feeling marked, lazy and judged.

I really think it’s time for us to stand up against this tyranny. Nobody gets to make us feel inferior without our consent. I thought our cultural beauty standards didn’t bother me but it turns out that they really, really, really do. I’m going to work on actively loving myself through this by reassuring my own rounded body that I’m okay, exactly as I am.

My daughter just turned 14 and is pursuing a career in acting. The pressure to be so tiny that you almost fade out of existence is immense, but I want her to be confident in the body she has and the unique beauty that she possesses. The best way for me to help her love herself and refuse to compare herself to others is to walk this out in front of her.

Who’s with me?

Showing all posts tagged thin

Accepting our Bodies

Cultural Beauty Standard Madness